Who Wants to Plunder?                    

                    Written by Walter Burien - September 14th 2001



                        The wealth is ripe for the picking!






I just found out confidentially that there is a tribe of Pygmies in the Amazon that was overlooked.


They number about 25,000, and they have lived in their primitive ways for over 4000 years with virtually no change, and no outside contact. They have over 200,000 acres of the richest land on earth. Gold, silver, gems, and much more.


I need about 40 volunteers to join me in taking over all that the Pygmies have.


It should be easy. They have never seen anyone else from outside of their tribe.


When we get there, they will be amazed and fearful of us. If we take it slow at first, they will look up to us as gods, and if we play are cards right, we can tell them what to do, and they will do it out of amazement or their fear of us. Once we have our foot hold, we can introduce some simple laws saying to them, these laws are standard and good every where else in the world. What would they know? We can force our laws in this arena out of their naivety and ignorance.


We can use some of their resources which they do not know are valuable, sell it, and take some of the money to build up their community with thing we want, and if properly promoted to the Pygmies, they will be further amazed with us, and think we are helping them out. Everything we do for them will be new to them, so we can exemplify that all is good, and all is great. They are so ignorant; they will not realize that they are loosing control of their own life's and property, to us. This is going to be so easy!


Hey, if we continue to play our cards right, most of them will even thank us. We have to be careful though. They are 25,000, and we will only be 40. They have those blowguns that shoot poison darts. If they catch on that we are plunderers and not benevolent gods, we might have a big problem.


So what we will do, is promote the danger of blow guns in the hands of the wrong Pygmies. We can stage a few incidents of blowgun misuse. We will make the general Pygmy population question the safety of having all Pygmies possessing blowguns. Now, they all have used them for over 4000 years, but with all of the changes we will be bringing into their lives, we can make the danger sound like it is a new development, and then we can move forward without to much opposition.


We must first have the Pygmies license their blowguns. Then we can put a licensing fee on their blowguns. We can target the strongest and most fearless Pygmies for violations of our new laws and confiscate their blow guns, and maybe all of their other property.


At this point, even though these Pygmies are backwards and naive, they may start thinking twice as to why we are taking their blowguns away. To avoid any opposition, we at this point must introduce our best tool for control.


I know a group of bible thumpers who would love to convert these barbaric savages. We, can selectively bring in a few, and now the Pygmies will be confronted with the unseen God. This will take their attention off of their new visible gods, us, and we can now go about our business of securing our plunder.


If by some chance the Pygmies catch on to our plundering, we can squeeze the bible thumpers to assure the Pygmies that we will get ours, when we face the all-powerful unseen God. They can also assure the Pygmies that the confusion, hurt, and anguish they feel as our plunder grows, will all disappear when they die and stand before the unseen God.


We better make sure those few bible thumpers are content and preach strong and loud. This venture is exclusively for atheists, so we are getting ours now! And my is it so easy getting ours now dealing with these primitives who jump at our every word.


If all goes well, in probably less that 20 or 30 years, we will own all of the resources, the land, and the Pygmies themselves. Then, if we choose, we can think of a way to eliminate 90% of the Pygmy population. We won't need them anymore. We will have all that they own. They will just be nuisances, and a real potential liability to our control that we have secured.


It should be pretty easy to eliminate them. We can destroy that Pygmy twin tree altar that we let them keep, and blame it on a neighboring hostile Pygmy tribe. Once we get a war going, in the confusion, we can eliminate our Pygmy population, and most of the neighboring tribe as well. Hay, we can kill two birds with one stone. It will take us 30 years to take over this tribe, and if we are successful, with the other tribe defeated, we can take over that one too in probably less than 5 years. My is plundering so sweet!


Let's make sure we keep a few of the Pygmies around for our pleasure though. A "good" Pygmy is a terrible thing to waste! We will keep a couple of the good workers, and a few of the best females to have our way with.


We have to move fast on this one. The rest of the world has already been plundered. Easy opportunities like this one only come along once in a lifetime!


Keep this communication confidential. We do not want to tip off other plunderers, of this great new find, or we may loose this opportunity to another. The wealth we can secure here if we play our cards right is obscene, so hush is the word.


The requirements you must possess if you want to be one of the 40 on this venture are: You must be an atheist. Your family values can only apply to your family, no other. We need 5 attorneys, 3 police officers, 1 judge, 10 social services workers, 1 architect, 2 engineers, 8 diligent 503C preachers, 4 school administrators, 6 blowgun administrators, and 10 general bureaucrats.


Keep in mind that, if you choose to participate in this venture, you can do anything you wish to do as long as you do not interfere with our overall game plan. Sex, drugs, sadomasochism, whatever you choose, as long as you don't cause a problem for our overall objectives for plunder and takeover of all that the Pygmies possess.


We can play those ignorant savages every time. They will believe anything we tell them. Before they wise up to the plunder, it will be to late for them to do anything about it. So as long as we agree to work together, and not deviate from the plan, success will be secured, and ours!


Upon completion of this venture, you can keep your plunder, or sell it and move on. The choice is yours. There are no restrictions on what you do with your plunder. Your only walking orders will be to maximize the plunder for the 40 until the venture is complete.


There is one warning I will give you up front: If you, for some strange reason, become a Pygmy sympathizer, you will be immediately eliminated. No exceptions! The prize is to great to be jeopardized by any loose canons.


If this is the venture and opportunity that you have always dreamed of, please send your confidential resume to: Offices of Homeland Security, attention: Intake Planning Department, general delivery, PA.


Once the 40 positions have been filled, the offer will be closed. Anyone who is not selected to be with the 40, don't threat. We expect 3 or 4 Pygmy sympathizers to crop up out of the 40, (it always happens) and their positions will be immediately filled by those on the waiting list.


Keep in mind that this venture is confidential. If you mention it to others, whereby you jeopardize the easy plunder for the 40, you will be swiftly dealt with to silence your breech of confidentiality.


Well, here's wishing for a prosperous year, and good plundering to come.

Yours Truly,




NOTE: If this confidential communication was sent to you in error, and you are not one of the selected few being considered for the 40, delete and disregard this offer.


Some email communications on the Post: Who Wants to Plunder:

Bruce Chesley- in: (Blue), Big Al - in: (White), Pancho in: (Green)




Subj: Re#1: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01

To: excalibur25@[SNIP].com


In a message dated 11/17/01 5:45:43 AM US Mountain Standard Time, excalibur25@[SNIP].com writes:


Will all my expenses be paid?


 Bruce Chesley


Truth is a terrible cross to bear.

Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered.". Thomas Paine

Treason for $$$: ALL "pro 2A" orgs.





We will pass the laws, and one of the laws we will pass is that the Pygmies pay all of our expenses so that we can provide our promoted services to them. We can hire some of the most amoral Pygmies to collect and enforce our expenses being collected, and paid at our every whim. If some of the Pygmies object we will take away everything that they have. That should keep the rest in line.





Subj: Re#2: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01

To: bigal123@[SNIP].net


In a message dated 11/17/01 8:24:40 AM US Mountain Standard Time, bigal123@[SNIP].net writes:


Subj: Re: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01 8:24:40 AM US Mountain Standard Time

From: bigal123@[SNIP].net (Big Al)



Gee WJB:


I never thought you would plagiarize what the state and United States governments do. What a great idea for our government has it all laid out---good thinking. But what the hey, if the US can do it so can I ---yea I'll join. Only one problem---what if the States and United States seek a copyright infringement on this process they developed? Do we go to the world court to fight it or what?


Big Al



Subj: Re#2: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01

To: bigal123@[SNIP].net




That is why I made it clear that the offer is confidential, and "Hush" is the word. This will be "our" plunder. The rest of the world has already been plundered. We will be the first to move on this virgin Pygmy tribe, thus before any of the other plunderers find out about it, we will have met our objectives. It won't matter if they find out at that point; we will have beaten them to the punch and already have taken all that is there for the taking that is of any consequence.


The world court plunderers arena can deal with the issues from the other not so savvy plunderers who still held on to their plunder, or waited to long to sell their plunder. We will be long gone after we have bled the Pygmies dry, and converted their assets into ours!


Now if it turns out that the Pygmies are very productive under our guidelines, we can hold on, debate, stall, or misdirect encroaching plunderers, as long as we are not trapped ourselves. We will have to deal with that when the time comes. If the money is there to motivate us to stay, I am sure we can maintain our hold over the Pygmies ongoing wealth productivity, and if we loose it, at least we got all of the ripe booty that we could until the last drop was squeezed.





Subj: Re#2: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01 12:28:21 PM US Mountain Standard Time

From: bigal123@[SNIP].net (Big Al)

To: WJB@cafr1.com


Mr. WJB:


Hey this is great. Hey can I make the paper they are supposed to use and put it into circulation by exchanging it for their precious metals they already have to trade with? Can't let heavy metal get in the way we can tell them. Hey maybe we can even teach them how to write our bank drafts and they only have to carry one piece of paper to pay what they get from us rather than say carry a thousand pieces of paper of one monopoly designation each. Hope no member has asked before I did. Please, oh pretty please, and that way I can give it to the Pygmies that work for us so we can collect a tax for working for us gods. So we will be paying them less that what we told them they would get and be none the wiser.


Big Al



Subj: Re#3: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01 10:28:27 AM US Mountain Standard Time

From: ddnew@[SNIP].com

To: WJB@CAFR1.com

At 11:45 AM 11/17/01 -0500, you wrote:


 In a message dated 11/17/01 5:45:43 AM US Mountain Standard Time,  excalibur25@[SNIP].com writes:


Will all my expenses be paid ?


 Bruce Chesley



Hey, Walt:


 I object to Bruce joining us! (I'm assuming you've added me to the 40 Ruling Elite!)


He is clearly a liberal democrat with a welfare mentality!! We can't have this! He can pay his own way like all others in the Ruling Elite! He sounds like the very kind of person that needs to be ruled. One of our policies should be, "If you have to ask, you can't afford it." What kind of conspiracy pays the entry fee of initiates? Tell Bruce to change his thinking, or return to his beer and pretzels.





Subj: Re#3: Who Wants to Plunder?

Date: 11/17/01

To: ddnew@[SNIP].com


Pancho (Dan):


It appears you have gotten this offer in error, and you do not have the intelligence, or state of mind to take advantage of this once in a lifetime venture.


The ruling elite has already accomplished their plunder. They are too busy managing what they already have taken. They fight with each other to control their "established" plunder. Securing additional wealth in that arena is not an easy task.


The 40 will be securing their ultimate first time plunder from the easy mark of these ignorant and backwards Pygmies overlooked.

It is preferable that the 40 for this venture do not have a pot to piss in, thus they will be very motivated and focused to diligently follow the objectives at hand.


It has been my experience that many from the ruling elite, could to easily become Pygmy sympathizers. This potential we cannot allow. One of "them" could turn on the 40 of us, and they would have the ability to destroy "our" planed venture for plunder.


Per your comment of Bruce being "clearly a liberal democrat with a welfare mentality" where is "your" brain, that is exactly what we want, and need. The Pygmies have been independent for over 4000 years. We need to get them on the hook as soon as possible for control purposes.


It is obvious that you are a "Wanta-be Plunderer" without the foggiest clue of the basics. Thus, any consideration of you for this venture is withdrawn effective immediately. I will be checking our internal security to find out how someone who has no understanding of the basics was included in this offer.